A curious spectator

Christmas 2011

2011-12-23T11:47:00.000-08:00

Whispers of Christmas magic are all around, wishing Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas to all whom may visit my blog!

As you celebrate the beauty of the season with your family and friends may you also have Peace and Happiness!

Merry Christmas,
Christina

Superstitious

2011-12-13T11:25:00.000-08:00

An odd thing happened this morning, about 10:30am, when I went downstairs to check on how many songs were left on a Christmas Music CD!! The picture of my Mother and Father slammed face down on my piano - in 25 years this has never happened!!

Now Im not superstitious but perhaps my Mother was sending me a message to put a Christmas Wreath on their grave [I havent in 7 years]!! This morning while listening to a morning news program and eating breakfast, I was writing in my Journal about maybe putting a wreath on their grave - guess I was told ...lol !!!

Submissive Thoughts

2011-12-09T12:53:00.000-08:00

It's a bit after noon on Friday December 9, 2011 and Im trying to decide what to do next!
Should I make out bills for payment and/or write out Christmas cards [something Ive been contemplating all week] or go downtown and pick up Christmas eggs I ordered from the Chocolate Store about 2 wks ago and the Owner promised they be ready 12/9! Ive decided to do the first 2 chores & mail all on Saturday 12/10 when I go to pick up the Christmas eggs!

It is 12:13pm now as I reflect on the comments I made this morning [prior to writing my post] to a post which was written perhaps in 2009 by a Discerning Dom entitled "Scrutiny"!!

I recalled visiting in 1972 my brother and his family whom had moved to Decatur, Georgia!
I dragged a girl friend [really a co worker whom I met February 28, 1972] with me, her name Paula! My sister in law allowed me to drive her car [a huge white buick I think] so we'd have transportation while visiting the state of Georgia! One afternoon she suggested we visit downtown Atlanta, which we did by first having lunch and 1 glass of Harvey Wallbanger, a drink that can knock you on your Arse if you have 2! Paula and I [a bit tipsy just after 1 very tall glass] walked over to the Hyatt Regency Hotel, it had an outside elevator! Once inside [a beautiful hotel], we sat down on one of the many sofas encircling the lobby! About 20 minutes or so Paula and I eyed 2 men in business attire whom were giving us the "once over",
they approached us and asked if we'd like to accompany them to the Bar for a drink!!
Without hesitation Paula and I stood up; Don the very tall good looking one took my arm and we proceeded upstairs to the Bar Area! We exchanged names / locations and asked each other what we were doing in Atlanta; Don and his friend were there for a Business Symposium and staying at another hotel, a few blocks from The Hyatt! Most of the men at the Symposium had brought their wives to the event, Don and his friend were single! So Paula and I were invited to have dinner with them!!

After dinner, Don wanted to show me the rooms where he as the Marketing Manager for a Furniture Manufacturer located in Richmond Virgina conducted the meetings! While waiting for the elevator to take us down to the lobby, Don approached me and said Christina I could take you right here as no one will bother us!! I immediately blushed and allowed Don to take some liberty; the sensations Ive never foregotten nor the man!!

So as I sit at my computer, it is now 12:44pm, I wonder was it then that I began to have feelings of being submissive to another... thoughts that didnt surface until I met online a Canadian Dominant during the season of Lent 2002!!! So for 9 years Ive had an on again / off again Curiosity with The Things That We Do!!!!

Venting

2011-12-02T01:28:00.000-08:00

At 11:43pm on Thursday 12/1/011, I knew what I wanted to say but at 1:09am Friday 12/2/011 my thoughts are scrambled because Ive been dumped by a male friend who would rather chase "an unknown ski bunny" down the slopes than to visit me for Christmas of which he instigated an Invite - Men are so fickle!!!

Anyway my main purpose in writing this "Post, not sure of a title yet, is to vent my displeasure in being reprimanded for interpreting what another blogger suggested in his rather long disertation on the subject of Spanking!!!

It is not in my nature to be a Lurker as some in the world of blogging refer to another who reads their blog but does not comment!! But this I shall adopt until I decide if it is worth my time to be reading his blog!!!!

Tis another beautiful day in Pennsylvania

2011-11-26T13:20:00.000-08:00

Today is Saturday November 26, 2011 [the day after Black Friday where some in America showed very poor taste by shooting shoppers and/or tasering them and/or pepper spraying them all to get in line first when the doors to businesses opened up - our Culture is sadly going the way of Europe and the Middle East] and since Thanksgiving November 24, 2011 the sun has been shining / the sky semi blue with wisps of white / the air warm!!!

This is all suppose to change on Sunday , the 1st day of Advent which Ive promised myself I will attend Mass!
I was going to go this afternoon at 4:00pm but remembered that PennState plays its last game for the 2011 season against Wisconsin for the Big 10 Championship game to be held next week - GO NITTANY LIONS!!!! The game is to be televised on ABC at 3:30pm - eastern standard time

Enjoy your day wherever you hail from!
Christina

An New England Tradition

2011-11-24T11:59:00.000-08:00

While attempting to comment on 3 blogs this morning and not being given access, I remembered what my Mother [RIP 10/3/02] did either on Thanksgiving Day and/or Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and/or New Years Eve or New Years Day, the burning of a Bayberry Candle [burns for 8 hrs until nothing is left]!! You see this tradition will bring good luck to the individual and/or the family group the following year!! My Mother was from Mystic, Connecticut!

In 2009 and in 2010 I did not burn a candle even though I had one remaining in the box and the YEARS SUCKED!
So therefore in need of some good luck, I shall wait until New Years Eve December 31, 2011 to burn the Bayberry Candle [I need to buy a pack of matches and/or that lighting gismo; the box of matches that I have dont light up]!!

What a wonderful aroma permeates the house; I always had burned the candle in the Kitchen watching it intently but this year I shall place the candle holder on my coffee table in the living room where I can sit comfy and either watch television or curl up with a good book, perhaps this year I will be able to finish reading The Original Argument [the federalists papers] by Glenn Beck!!

Happy Thanksgiving November 24, 2011

2011-11-24T10:14:00.000-08:00

Having watched the wonderful movie entitled Little Women [filmed 1949] this morning from 7:45am till 10:00am I became rather teary eyed; reminiscing about Thanksgivings and Christmases past!!

The movie was filmed with stars such as June Allyson [as Jo]; Peter Lawford [as Laurie];
Margaret O'Brien [as Beth]; Elizabeth Taylor [as Amy]; Clifton Webb [as Laurie's Grandfather]; the hunk who played the lead in the movie South Pacific [ as the Professor] and ?? [as Meg]!!

While watching this movie I was also going through a handful of Christmas / Birthday ectera cards from previous years and looking through an Our Family album of pictures when I was just a wee thing whom progressed into a young lady of 30 something!!

Now it is just me with siblings [2 sisters] living in Williamsburg, Va and Phoenixville, Pa with families of their own and as it happened last year and then again this year not extended an invitation to visit!!!!!

Oh well, I shall do whatever I wish today...eat when I want too...get dressed if I want too...watch football if I want too, ectera!!

Enjoy,
Christina

Public Outcry - PennState Scandal

2011-11-18T16:55:00.000-08:00

In my opinion, JoePa should not have been fired!

I think his comment to the University's Board of Trustees [whom I think many need to go] about them attending to the business of finding out why Jerry Sandusky was allowed to perform sadistic acts upon children in the football lockeroom and leave his status alone - Joe made an announcement to the World that he would retire at the end of the 2011 season!

The idea that 'NOW' in 2011, they'd be conducting an investigation? You mean to say that in 2009 when members of the coaching staff, President of the university, athletic director ectera were "witnesses" to the Grand Jury, the Board Trustees were not knowledgable as to why?

For goodness sakes, JoePa is an 84 year old man with a wonderful legacy and mainstream media types ectera treat him with disrespect! My thoughts and prayers are with the Paterno family at this time including the Student body of PennState University!!

Dalliance with a Frenchman

2011-07-04T15:41:00.000-07:00

On Easter Monday while chatting in a Pennsylvania chatroom, a "voyeur" by the name of NewWays01 emailed me! Intrigued by his screenname I answered the email which didnt begin with hello my name is so and so but that he was surprised that someone on AOL knew about French author Albert Camus! In my profile I had entered the quote: Autumn is a second spring where every leaf is a flower!!

In the 3 weeks that Alex and I conversed via instant messages / phonecalls, I found out that he lived outside of Philadelphia in New Jersey and he often visited my city of residence [a town in Central Pennsylvania] for business!
We planned to meet on Mother's Day; Alex driving to see me but as plans changed we decided on another date to be in the future I thought when he traveled here for business! But Alex had other ideas and instead purchased a very expensive airline ticket and wanted to visit May 16, 2011! I cancelled out the 1st time because he didnt want to be friends but lovers! I wanted to start out a relationship based on friendship not sex as I had previously done 3 times and made this very clear to Alex! I too had promised our Lord January 2008 that I would not let my guard down again and for 3 years I had been with no man! Not knowing what to do and feeling guilty that if Alex didnt visit he'd be wasteing alot of money, I finally relented and thought I had convinced Alex to just meet as friends!

On Thursday June 2, 2011 Alex flew into town and arrived at my house at 1:20pm! Once inside my house, he Immediately started to kiss and paw at me - I pushed him away and said this isnt what I agreed to! We went into my living room to talk I thought but all Alex wanted to do was kiss and yes I gave in because this was something I sorely missed! Eventually we ventured upstairs to my bedroom and amorous play began which ended by me screaming STOP!!
Needless to say the visit was a complete disaster and by 2:10pm Alex had left!!

How did I feel after he left, like a slut whom had let her guard down once again! For 3 weeks I was in a depressive period wondering why when I prayed to our Lord for guidance, he wasnt there! Ive finally put the episode with Alex to bed after talking to a male friend and can even laugh about it now and I have the satisfaction of knowing that he paid $1,000.00 for his airline ticket / rented a car / had to find a hotel for one night [room rates arent cheap]as his flight wasnt until Friday 6/3!!!

My advice to anyone wishing to meet a Foreigner - Do not under any cicumstance, they are not to be trusted!!!

Happy New Year 2011

2011-01-09T13:34:00.000-08:00

It has been two months of the past year 2010 and one week of the new year 2011 since I last visited the blog known as A curious spectator!

Since none of the so called followers listed on my Blog have commented on my absence, perhaps it is time to hang up my shingle here at Blogger!!

I shall make a decision by month's end!!

Pennsylvania - Autumn Foliage for 2010 is awesome

2010-10-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

Good morning to all whom have visited this blog since it's inception July of 2009:

Ive been spending all of my time when I get online [which ThankGod, Im no longer addicted to] is either on Facebook or chatting with friends using the ISP AOL!!

The foliage in Pennsylvania is at its Peak - brillant colors of red, orange, golden yellow especially when the sun hits the leaves intermeshed among the green! Autumn is my favorite season and like Albert Camus agree that Autumn is just another Spring where each leaf is a flower! Ive taken pictures before of all the Oak trees on my property and somewhere Ive filed them away for future lookings; just not sure where :)!

Until I post again in blogger, I hope all my friends are enjoying a splendid Autumn Season!

It's been 3 months & 4 days since last time I posted anything at A curious spectator.....

2010-07-06T17:08:00.000-07:00

Im not sure what 'title' I should give this Post!! It is almost time for me to make dinner for myself; not sure what to concoct other than it is WAY TO HOT to cook at the stove!!

The east coast is having a HEAT WAVE which commenced on Sunday the 4th of July 2010 & is expected to continue until Friday night, July 9, 2010! Last evening I slept downstairs where it is much cooler and I had a fan blowing; as not having a sleep sofa but 2 loveseats which are not long enough for my 6ft frame, I slept upon a foam thingie, lol, it was like sleeping on the ground! I awoke at 6:30am with a backache / neckache and struggled to right myself to a standing position. Once there I walked upstairs & got into bed and slept sound until 7:30am!
I have an A/C unit in the bedroom window but I cannot sleep with the sound it makes; it is very close to the bed but I think tonight I will just have to deal with the 'noise'!

Ive been spending all my time when I do access the internet on Facebook - Ive met many nice people from all over the world! But Ive returned to this blog because Ive been once again bit by my 'submissive' side - perhaps it is because someone Ive met recently in an AOL chatroom thinks I want him - which I do not - but in all certaintly even though he denies it, I think he WANTS ME!! To be continued...........

Reminiscing about Past Easter holidays with Family

2010-04-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Today is Good Friday 4-02-010 one of the most holiest of days if you are of the Catholic Faith!
A day I remember spending from Noon till 3:00pm either reading about our Lord's death or attending Church worship or attending to some chore but in silence!

There have been many a Easter where the weather has been abominable - from very warm temperatures like this year to one of wind / rain / snow and frigid temperatures!
I will be spending my eighth Easter alone - a feast of Potroast with baked sweet potatoes, asparagus, pink applesauce and white cake / dark chocolate frosting for dessert is planned!
Ive always planned a menu for Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas but it never panned out because either I got sick and didnt want to eat so much or I just got lazy - so Im hoping this Easter I will follow through! Both my parents are deceased and my siblings live out of town and thus Ive not been invited but both are in failing health!

The other day I recalled when we were young and living in the suburbs of Philadelphia when we got chicks and ducks for Easter, how little and fluffy they were and when they matured after 6 months given to the Eggman! Or shopping for an Easter outfit - my Mother loved 'hats' and she spent big bucks on them or me wanting 'red shoes'! Finally at the age of 12 I was allowed and all I could find were a subdude color of 'red orange' tied shoes! A wonderful Easter memory was receiving dark chocolate covered cocconut eggs with our names imprinted!!

As we grow up we do not lose Friends, we just learn whom are our real ones!!!!

2010-03-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

Whether or not we just limit our capacity to have 'friends' in the reality of interacting daily or we choose 'friends' by using the Internet, we must not compromise our 'Integrity'!!!

Case in point: The other day in a Pennsylvania chatroom an online friend [we've never met in person] got into a fracas with a chatterer and because I did not support her, she has been giving me the 'cold shoulder'! So this morning I approached 'chippygal37' in an instant message as she's a friend in my buddylist! And yes she was angry at me for not supporting her as a chatterer known as 'momfullofpride' had belittled both of us one morning & afternoon late november / early december 2009 in the chatroom! The more I ponder of what has transpired I think back to when I joined another Pennsylvania chatroom August of 2004 and all the fun I had interacting with 'people in the virtural pub setting' until December 2004! Then 'nasty' chatterers came into chat and I gained many 'stalkers' and eventually this room went the route of becoming 'defunct' in the spring of 2009!! If only I hadnt had a 'chip on my shoulder' perhaps my experience in this chatroom would have been better! I put up with it for 4 years but I took many a vacation from chat [ some lasting as long as 4 months] and I did this frequently! Thankfully the Pennsylvania chatroom I now frequent has a 'bolt holder' and if chatters get rude they are ejected! We all use this virtual pub setting for 'comic relief' and/or to make 'friends' or why would anyone even consider joining!!!!!

Tis the wearing of the Green

2010-03-17T10:53:00.000-07:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all Irish bloggers and may you all each & every day throughout 2010 have the 'Irish luck'!!

Two of my favorite sayings: As you slide down the banister of Life, may the Splinters never point in the wrong direction! May the hinges of our friendship never turn rusty!!

A background look into the life of St. Patrick: He was born in Britain & at the age of 16 captured by thugs & brought to Ireland as a slave. Eventually he escaped & returned home to Britain. Some years had past & he became a Priest & was sent back to Ireland as a Missionary Bishop!!!!

What are the origins of one's Surname

2010-03-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

As Im of the 57 heinz variety having Irish / Polish / Russian / German / French roots Ive found out just this afternoon that my surname has Anglo-Scottish origins too!!

A irish gentlemen saw my comments on a Proud to be an Irish Person on Facebook and sent me a link to a websire to find out the origins of one's surname - check out www.Surnamedb.com - it's free!

My older sister whom lives in Williamsburg, Virginia compiled a Genealogy report for us all I think back before my Mother died in 2002!!

And as St. Paddy's day is next Wednesday the 17th of March 2010 what's a more befitting way to know exactly if you're Irish or not!!!!!

Followup to Infidelity post written 3/4/010

2010-03-09T00:12:00.000-08:00

Monday evening 3/8/010 at 7:16:49pm I emailed Andy [alias Tony] telling him how guilty Ive felt after realizing he lied to me not for 6 seconds or 6 minutes or 60 seconds or 60 minutes or 6 days or 6 months but for 6 years!

I typed to him you not only lack COURAGE whomever you are but INTEGRITY as well as CHARACTER!!!!

I typed how 'naive' I was by trusting him after meeting him online via the virtual world of chatting!
He was divorced he typed in the forum known as Instant Messaging but in reality he was MARRIED!!

Being of the 'Catholic' faith I was in an adulterous affair for a 4 month period!

I ended the emai with - Keep your BULLSHIT explanation to yourself, Im not interested!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With it being the Lenten season, I hope our Lord will forgive me this mortal sin as I was unaware of Andy's [alias Tony's] lying!!! and hopefully I can continue to follow him into the Desert for 40days!!!

The Oscars!

2010-03-08T00:38:00.000-08:00

A truely fabulous production seen Sunday evening March 7, 2010! I had to laugh at the women in costume who looked like 'trussed' up turkeys! Very few looked elegant - Sandra Bullock won her first Oscar for Best Actress!
Kathryn Bigelow First woman ever to win the coveted award for Best Director beating out her husband James Cameron, I didnt realize he was on his 3rd wife! She won also for Best Picture 'The Hurt Locker' which depicted the daily struggles our brave men and women do each and every day to fight a War in the Middle East to not only 'keep us safe at home' but to bring democracy and freedom to Muslims!!!!!!!

And it was good to see that first time Nominees for Lighting, etc. were winners!!!!!!!!!!!

Infidelity

2010-03-04T18:21:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday March 2nd I checked out a friend on Facebook - this is where I spend most of my time these days catching up on the Trials and Tribulations enveloping the United States of America! As I didnt know his last name I used his email address! I was shocked to see that his name wasnt Tony at all as I had been told when we met in an AOL chatroom one fateful day August 2004. We chatted,flirted and swapped some pertinent information about one another! About one week later we moved to the more private way of communicating via the Instant Message forum and the week of Labour Day September 2004 we met for lunch. It was a 45 minute drive for me and about 1hour 30 minutes for Tony! After lunch which he bought and I left the tip, we moved to my Honda Accord and began a lustful adventure which lasted 4 months! In 2005 we did not meet but we occassionally chatted via Instant message however the Wednesday after Easter 2006 we made a date to meet. But I became violently ill, I think I contracted Salmonella poisoning as for 3 days I hung over the Toilet seat and felt as though I was hit by a MackTruck; I ached all over! The morning of the date to meet I called Tony on the phone and explained - he never called me back or sent me an email to see how I was doing!

In August of 2009 I was using another screen name and I initiated a face to face typing a hello to Tony! We met again in November this time locally in my vicinity as his Daughter attends one of the local colleges! We met just for breakfast but it was nice catching up on things that have occurred with both of us. Tony looked the same but older and had a bit of a pouch [He resembles Richard Gere]; he also was wearing a wedding ring but told me it was his Father's who had died 2 yrs previous! You see Tony had told me he was divorced, lived in a small hamlet of Pennsylvania known as Hazelton and had 3 children - 2 boys, 1 girl. He loved the Pittsburgh Steelers and NotreDame football and he was 100% Italian ; his famous quote was: Life is short, play hard!

Well back to what I found on his Facebook page: It stated he was married and was to celebrate 29 yrs of wedded bliss on June 13th and didnt live in Hazelton but in Old Forge! I was livid and saddened because now we had committed adultery and in our faith of being Catholic that is a mortal sin. Had I known, I would never have met Andy [alias Tony] that day in September 2004! I thought about confronting him on his facebook page but decided against it - needless to say he's revised his page at 8:38pm on Thursday 3/4 and has promised to call me with an explanation!

Happy New Year 2010!

2010-01-29T14:39:00.000-08:00

Ive returned to the world of 'online access' after hibernating for almost a month!

I probably will be just reading & perhaps commenting on others blogs!

The Winter Soltice

2009-12-21T12:01:00.000-08:00

We say goodbye to the season of Autumn at 12:47pm December 21, 2009 and the Winter Soltice officially ushers in the Winter season! It starts as the sun reaches its southernmost point - in essence the shortest day of the year & yet the longest night of the year!!

I will be spending the Christmas holiday alone again this year with the hope of visiting my sisters the week of December 28 including the New Year celebrations providing the weather is good!! My town didnt get the massive snowstorm that engulfed the east coast areas this past saturday into sunday snarling traffic ectera, but just a dusting of 2 inches - however, a wintry mix is promised for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day!!!

To those whom have stopped by to visit A Curious Spectator since its inception July 31st 2009, may the blessings and joy of this Christmas season be with you throughout the coming year!!!

Watching snow fall in Pennsylvania 12 / 05/ 09

2009-12-05T12:25:00.000-08:00

On Saturday 9:50am in North Central Pennsylvania, Im closer to the NY state border, the snow began to fall lightly! The trees / my deck / my car / driveway / grass all covered. The weather person forecasts only a light snow but if it continues all day into nighttime hours we could get the 3 - 6 inches that places south of me - such as Allentown/Philadelphia are suppose to get!!

I remember as a kid when we lived in an area known as Glenside, Pa when a giant of a snowstorm caused our electricity to cease & all we had to heat the house was the fireplace in the living room where my older sister by 5 yrs. / my Mother & my baby sister who was born January 1, 1957 [she made the front page of the Philadelphia Inquirer being named the first baby of Montgomery County at 12:28am] camped out for 5 days having to depend on a neighbor across the street who had Gas to heat and cook by! My Father was stranded in this little town in North Central Pennylvania where he was working & where we eventually moved to in August of 1958!

Anyway, memories of sledding / building snow caves & snowmen with scarves & hats & carrots & finally making angels in the snow by moving arms & legs in an upward motion not to forget the hot cocca with marshmallows has warmed this person's heart as I sit here in my 'little corner' of the Internet world composing a Post to my blog & watching the fine snow come down!

I had wanted to go out & shop for a Nativity Scene as the purpose of Christmas to me is to celebrate our Lord's birth. Last Sunday a Friend accompanied me to a country gift shop nestled in the woods, thank god temperatures that day were in the 60's & the bulk of the gifts were made in China - even Lennox China once manufactured in the United States of America has succumed to being nothing more than 'crapola'!

A stock journalist on Fox News weekend mentioned how Sally Struthers [well known for being the screaming adult child on RIP Carroll O'Connor's hit show, having a senior moment, lol, & cannot recall the name] suggested long ago that China be given a chance to become a great country & thus they've taken our place, in fact even 'OWN US'!! Sooner or later, China will cease to lend our country monies to get back on track!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

2009-11-26T10:46:00.000-08:00

Today I was suppose to drive to Phoenixville in Pennsylvania [for those whom do not know where this town is, 40 minutes from King of Prussia] and celebrate the day with my younger sister & her family! But weather has played a factor - zero visibility at Mt. Pocono, the area where I access Interstate 476 South toward Philadelphia!

Ive spent 6 Thanksgivings & 5 Christmases alone & here's hoping that this Christmas 2009 I will be invited to spend the day with my younger sister! It's just another day to get through& thankgod there are parades & football games to watch & then the Internet to connect with friends either by blogging or chatting!

So now after cleaning out fridge thinking Id be away for 5 days, I have to grocery shop for something to wet my palate! Enjoy your day all to those whom celebrate this wonderful day when we thank our Lord for all his blessings!!!!!

So many Conspiracies

2009-11-23T10:57:00.000-08:00

Today is 46 years since President John F. Kennedy was assassinated! Last night trying to sleep but being awakened by the radio - Coast To Coast AM 1:00am til 5:00am talk radio show - the guests interviewed suggested that JFK's hit was planned by the Government at the approval of VP Lyndon Baines Johnson & gay blade F.B.I. Director J. Edgar Hoover! Then it was also mentioned that District Attorney of New Orleans William Garrison was assassinated too because he's the one whom opened 'the can of worms' that JFK's hit was iniated by the C.I.A. & not committed by Lee Harvey Oswald!

I remember being glued to the television set and seeing Jack Rubey shoot at close range Lee Harvey Oswald, the perp that the Govt. blamed and then watching all the heart wrenching proceedings of the Funeral Mass ectera! Grief is a terrible thing to get through and so today, I wonder how Caroline Kennedy S. who was five at the time of her Father's untimely death is
dealing? Will the 'state run media' showcast what happened 46 yrs ago!

So many 'death bed' confessions have been made over the years but isn't it time for all 'good men' to come clean?

Being Vindictative

2009-11-19T08:22:00.000-08:00

Why do women bash each other - is it because they are jealous or is there another reason?

The other reason: On Monday of this week the 16th of November 2009 I happened to be watching the dynamics in a Pennsylvania chatroom, when a friend came into the room - I will call her Marie! Immediately another chatterer opens up the topic of conversation with - I hope Mabus does not bolt me for the following but I must tell everyone what is bothering me. Mabus was just an ordinary chatter who was holding the bolt - meaning if 'unsavory' people came into the room, he had the option of leaving them in or kicking them out! To continue: I will call the chatter by her real name Melanie [a floozy who cheats behind her husband, has 2 young children and was just recently cleared of bribery, etc charges] Citygal [the screen name I use to chat] and Chippygal37 [Marie] it has come to my attention that you 2 have slandered me - a chatter friend has sent me the chatroom logs. First of all, when Melanie was arrested I was not online - hadn't been for 2 months!. I had received in an email the newspaper account of why she was arrested and why her bail was set at $125,000.00. Frankly, not knowing this woman but we did occassionally chat in the room and in Instant Messages and we more or less live close by I was shocked! I do remember saying to the room that only Melanie knows the truth of what happened and I feel sorry for her children.

What Marie may have said, Im not privy to that conversation but for Melanie to accuse me in the forum of an open chatroom instead of taking it to an Email is an Injustice!.. Not only has she not shut up about what she considers as 'slander' but she keeps bringing it up usually when both Marie and me are not in the chatroom.. Case in point last night, Wednesday the 18th of Nov. 2009 after 11:00pm, she immediately started in with the bashing! How do we know, a chatterer by the name of Barbie informed us that our mutual friend was talking about us again! As I sit here at my computer composing this post, I wonder why does she do it - is she so insecure at 44? Or does she resent us for being 'stand up women' who do the right thing - whom do not inpune their character - because without Integrity - one is up the creek!!

The Promise of a New Day!

2009-11-14T16:27:00.000-08:00

During the 1990's I purchased a book of daily meditations - part of the Hazelden Meditations Series written by 2 authors and an illustrator! Originally the book was developed for perople recovering from alcoholism and other addictions! I bought the book because I was interested in personal and/or spiritual growth!

It takes strength to step enthusiastically into each day of our lives! This strength comes more readily on some days than on others, but every day makes demands on us! For each day in the year there is a quote by an esteemed person such as Amelia Earhart! For today, November 14th she states: In soloing --- as in other activities --- it is far easier to start something than it is to finish it! And then the 2 authors Karen Casey & Martha Vanceburg and the illustrator David Spohn give their thoughts: Our inspiration to master any art, to attain any goal, to tackle any project comes from within the center of all knowledge! When the desire to pursue a particular avenue keeps presenting itself, we should pay heed, trusting we will be shown the way to succeed. Each time we back off, letting our commitment die, we are opting for less than a full life! No one else can a handle a project in just our way! And so today I will be faced with the choice to stay on top of my goals! I must remember the source of my inspiration and trust it!

When Im feeling down in the dumps which for most of 2009 has been every 2 months or so [2 months good & the next 2 months bad], I pick up this book & daily read the meditation & if Ive missed a day or 2 or 3, I read those too! And I come out feeling much better for the day and to realize that Ive got it better than most!

Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's

2009-11-10T12:06:00.000-08:00

An AOL news article this morning 11/10/09 caught my eye about a man by the name of Bobby Yurkanim located in Fort Lauderdale, Florida whom is out on bond but awaiting his trial scheduled for January 2010 for allegedly killing his Father in 2005 whom suffered from this dreaded disease!

My Father too suffered from Alzheimer's for about 10 years although my Mother, his caregiver, saw signs way before his 65th birthday when he suffered a mini stroke! My father suffered what at first was called dementia and then full blown alzheimers! From being a very 'intelligent' man but reduced to someone whom no longer could dress himself / nor feed himself it was stressful yes, but Id never think of getting rid of my Father because my life was disrupted! There are many a day and/or night now where I don't feel sad as too how I would feel when my Father [whom has been dead 17 & 1/2 yrs] would walk up to 'strangers' and put out his hand and say hello. So many times I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me and was surprised one time when indeed the person my Father was greeting was a former employee!

Eventually my Mother had to put my Father into a nursing facility because he became too hard to care for; he began to be abusive and one time threw lotion into my face. But every day my Mother would visit my Father for lunch and then have him walk for exercise [because for protection he was put into a wheelchair] and then would help the aides put him to bed for his nap! Every evening if we could one or both of us would go to feed him his dinner, to give him some exercise by walking the halls and then together we got him bathed and ready for bed! Sometimes a Nurses aid would help us but they were so short staffed. We did this for almost 2 & 1/2 years. My Mother grieved for my Father after his death for 5 years and then she became sick and died 10 yrs later! I would not like to see any of my siblings and/or friends get this dreaded disease!

Creating a Masterpiece

2009-11-04T07:53:00.000-08:00

Every September [9/21] when the Season of Autumn commences, I wish I could take crayons to pad and create a colorful drawing! But instead Ive gotten out my camera and taken some wonderful pictures; Im surrounded by Oak trees and this year they've taken longer to change from green to the vibrant reds / golden yellows / golden orange and then turn nondescript brown when they die and fall from the trees. Ive been living in my house for 23 years in a small town in central pennsylvania but I think this has been the best year for foliage. I was surprised in 2006 when I created my screen name luvAutumn etc to learn that the season of Autumn lasts under December [12/21] the Winter Soltice! Flowers are also an important aspect of Autumn such as mums, mini calla lilies, marigolds and hydrangeas. A Hydrangea is the most popular of the fall wedding flowers; also Roses which symbolizes 'love'!

Double Standard

2009-11-02T19:03:00.000-08:00

This morning listening to the radio I heard about the Home Depot employee being FIRED because he wore a pin that read 'In God we Trust' yet this evening an AOL news article depicts the apology from a Texas Medical Center to the Muslim lady doctor whom is practicing in my country 'America' for saying she was banned from wearing a head scarf!

My take on this: Because we have a Muslim Son of Kenya President in the WhiteHouse, Muslim ethnicities are getting a free pass! Quite an injustice I say!!!

Reality

2009-08-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

With me reading ' blogs about everyday reality', Im hoping my resurfacing struggle with the D/s lifestyle will cease to exist! Perhaps it comes from me wanting someone else to take over the reigns - Ive never been married but have dated more than my 2 sisters and they are both married! Frankly in all candor, Im just too darn 'picky' and all those worthwhile men who would have made a wonderful 'soul mate' are either married and / or sprouting up daisies, lol and / or living in some far off exotic country!

Thanks to all those who have become a follower to my blog, A curious spectator, because Ive found some new and interesting ones to follow by clicking on what you read!

Discourse

2009-08-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

It is important to comprehend that it is the honesty & quality of discourse which is of essential value!
So I wonder what gives a chatterer who holds the bolt, the gall to suspend someone from chatting in a so designated Adult chatroom just because they do not like their comments???

The same thing can be said about blogging! Because I leave a comment on some blogs which frankly in all candor are so ridiculous. the owners have slandered me????

So therefore to all my enemies on blogland, you know whom you are, as you slide down the banister of life may the splinters always point in the wrong direction!!!! An old Irish saying!

Bloggers & dirty linen

2009-08-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

In reading a new friend's blog this afternoon, I came across a comment he made & immediately an idea for a post came to mind! Why is it that "bloggers" air their "dirty laundry" for all to see? Ive done just that and could it be, because we all are just a bit opinionated or is it that we just want to be outlandish or we just want pity! So I did an ixquick last evening, a new search engine that does not publish one's IP address like google does, and it suggested that "opinionated people" have "big mouths" - laughing out loud!
Feel free to comment all, even my enemies here on blogland!!

Hot Temperatures in the Northeast have finally arrived

2009-08-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

Hopefully, this week is the last of the "hot temps"! My ideal weather is cool evening / cool mornings with temperatures in the 70's with low humidity - something like SanDiego,California - what a wonderful place to visit! Now if you want contrast of temperatures drive to Monterey and or SanFrancisco California where thankgod I had my raincoat to keep me warm - because only one day did the temperature rise to 73!
Back in the 70's I took with me a girl friend from work & we visited a youngman I met in Williamsburg, VA summer of 1969! Tim worked during his college breaks as a "cooper" - lol, what a flirt he was all 6 ft inch 11 inches tall. Besides this Irishman i felt little - me being 6ft tall eyes of blue with the 100% Irish temper!
How different he had become - he was now a 2nd Lt training others at Fort Ord - now a defunct military base.
He was mean and he enjoyed when recruits were overcome with nauseous feelings after going through training of being able to withstand toxic chemicals! How had this fun loving Irishman with the twinkly eyes gone astray!
Ive enjoyed the summer we've had, though all the rain could have stayed away! Not once until yesterday, Sunday the 16th of August have I had on my air conditioning! And so it is becoming warm in the room where my computer is situated and time to close the wide open window!

Cult's & why are they allowed to flourish

2009-08-14T11:18:00.000-07:00

As my blogger profile depicts, Im inquisitive which has come from working in the Customer Service field!
If one does not ask questions, they cannot do a good job plus too from asking alot of questions, one can have opinons! In my 8 posts commencing July 31st 2009, I talked about my curious interest in the Dominant / Submissive lifestyle that is why I entitled my blog the "A curious spectator"! Perhaps D/s can fulfill the purpose to increase the level of excitement in the boring world of "vanilla sex", but the "dark images" depicted in "Bondage / Discipline" to me does not have the potential to make my dreams come true nor does it fulfill the purpose to increase the level of my excitement nor would it ever build my self-esteem as suggested by 3 way over the hill submissives! In all reality, it is an "unethical alternative lifestyle"!

Because we live in a "free society", Bondage / Discipline is considered an alternative lifestyle aka Cult!
Children are subjected to this alternative lifestyle, if their parents embrace this lifestyle! Also words / ideas / pictures are more powerful than perhaps anyone suspects, and once deeply engraved in a child's mind, they are not easily eradicated! In all candor, I would certaintly not want anyone who teaches my child to be associated with this alternative lifestyle!

Closeted shrinks such as Selkie and Littleone

2009-08-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

Laughing out Loud to the closeted shrinks known as Selkie / Littleone!
Although no comments are left on my blog, A curious spectator, my posts are still read!
I didn't comment to what Selkie wrote on the Journey 8/10/09 because frankly her statements were just too winded! Granted I know nothing of the dynamics of the lifestyle other than what Ive read not just online but in published books on the subject, but Im entitled to have an opinion. Last time I looked at our Constitution, America is a "free society"!
And for me being involved in 'SEX GAMES', hardly. Now you want details on that repugnant topic, visit the blog of Littleone's The Journey where she and her silly Master known as Sir live a 24/7 M/s lifestyle! She's nothing but a gray haired bbw hag who frankly is a MENTAL CASE!!

My final post on the subject of BDSM

2009-08-11T10:11:00.000-07:00

This morning around 9:45am after chatting with friends, I ventured into the world of blogging! I have 2 blogs saved on the subject of BDSM. A Kind Dom and Master's Viewpoint [Dennis Nagee - slave owner]. Ive read countless stories by dominants and submissives with lots of contradictions but The Journey is one blog that should be viewed as 'psychologically damaging'!
Littleone is the main character living the 24/7 bdsm lifestyle and so this morning described what happened the 2nd day of BDSM camp. I wonder what would happen if the tables were turned and her Master known as 'Sir' was beaten with such passion on a very sore ass that has a bump in it. Repeatedly he wanted her to drop her drawers and be subject to tortureous beatings because he wanted to try out new toys???? She repeatedly has discussed in her blog how she's 'masochistic' and they make beautiful music between them but in all reality isn't this just 'abusive behavior'!!!

An eight year inquisitive interest with D/s

2009-08-09T12:45:00.000-07:00

For the past 8 years, Ive had an on again / off again "inquisitive interest" about the D/s lifestyle! When Ive read BDSMers blogs and viewed the pictures of their private parts
being contorted into many shapes via "pins/piercings", Ive come to the conclusion that they had to have been abused as children and/or as adults to have accepted this type of "safe, sane, consensual" punishment! And when they discuss the "dark side" can it be they are depressed due to the guilt of their aberrant sexual practices? Even us "vanilla people" get depressed but mainly due to the guilt, as a Christian, I lust married men! December 2007 I met such a person online and In January 2008 met him offline. I thought that by doing such I would for ever get over the attraction I felt for married men. Our "petting" with clothes on led to me giving him a "bj" with clothes off. When he didn't get what he wanted, he made up some story and left. Once I returned home, I went into a 3 month "guilt ridden" depression! LoL, Ive not learned from my experience because on Sunday, August 3, 2008 I allowed into my Instant Message chat a legally separated man but still in the eyes of God married! Am I attracted to him, yes still! And I know he would be the perfect person who could bring out my "submissive tendencies" as He's the most caring of all Dominants if I ever decided to lean the way of D/s!

BDSMers who like to flaunt their kink

2009-08-08T21:52:00.000-07:00

My comment to Anonymous and all other BDSMers who feel they have the right to chastise me for voicing an opinion on what I dislike about BDSM, it's Abuse/Torture! Perhaps if your kind would keep their kink behind closed doors instead of shouting to the world with pictures - the carving of one's flesh in a figure 8 us Vanilla people / Psychologists would not judge you so harshly!!

Ive become famous - thanks morningstar

2009-08-07T12:08:00.000-07:00

This morning on morningstar's blog alias littleone's the Journey she dedicated her August 7, 2009 post about BDSM versus Abuse to me! There was a comment that jumped out at me about self-esteem - that s/m build self-esteem - yeah right, NOT!
I have a chatfriend [Mentor] who not only has dabbled in Hedonism but also D/s and who like littleone has many degrees hanging up on his wall; he counsels abused men and women. I broached the subject of what she wrote about and this was his comment. Well, Christina you certaintly have a penchant for finding 'crazies' on the Internet! I told him about my blog and that I had been chastised by littleone for having an opinion on what I thought was Abuse - the carving of the figure 8 by a sadistic Master onto his sub's buttocks! His comment - well it sounds as though the multilatee and the multilator aren't working with a full deck of cards. Case closed!!!!!

Judgmental is one of my faults!

2009-08-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

Nothing like being chatised for having an opinion! Im sorry if my remarks littleone upset you when I left a comment on your blog Sunday the 2nd of August 2009. Having the figure 8 carved by a knife is not my idea of what pleasure is all about! But as you commented on my blog of Monday 3rd of August 2009 you are a masochist and your Master a sadist! To each their own and Im not weak of heart. I was just agreeing with, what many of your submissive cohorts have said in their individual blogs about what is Abuse. I shall look forward to reading your blog to be posted Friday August 7 on the subject BDSM vs Abuse to see if what Ive read in many of the purchased Books such as The Loving Dominant / Erotic Surrender - The sensual joys of female submission agree with your interpretation!

Continuation on how I became the curious spectator

2009-08-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

Ive also been reading the blogs of Dominants/Submissives such as: A Kind Dom & his followup Uncle Agony; In between black and white; daughter of the sea and oatmealgirl. There is much in what selkie laments that Ive felt about this very 'taboo lifestyle'. Then this morning 8/2/09 I read some of oatmealgirl's posts from July. The idea that a submissive would allow her sadistic Master flog her labia and/or bite it all in the feelings of pleasure is what I do not understand. The submissive is living, breathing at his 'pleasure' - where's the 'self-esteem' and/or 'dignity' of this 60 year old woman?. Im 60 years young too but Id never, ever allow any Man to treat me in the fashion her SadisticMaster does, even if we were just doing a D/s scene. How can one feel this treatment is personal growth? Too me this is Abuse! As Tristan, another Dominant whose blogs Ive read, and who commented to one of my comments to A Kind Dom's blog entitled "The insecurities of a Dom" said; I could be just a bit too Assertive to ever consider being called Submissive! I guess that is why from March of 2003 until January 2006 I walked away from even considering the D/s lifestyle. To be continued on 8/3/09.

How I became the curious spectator

2009-08-01T20:42:00.000-07:00

In the spring of 2001 I ventured into MSN open chat forums. It was here that I got my first inkling of what a Mature Interest Chatroom was all about. I met someone online, can't even remember his screen name, he was from Canada and he introduced me to the world of CyberSex! While I watched this guy type words on a computer screen visualizing all that would happen to me had I been with him for real, my panties got damp and I felt a throbbing in my vagina area. Of course, this all happened during the season of Lent [Im catholic and such a 'goodgirl'] and by continuing this behavior I began to sin. I did this for at least one more year until I met someone who introduced me to the very 'taboo world of kink'. He explained the 'art of spanking' and how he soothed his submissive afterwards. He introduced me to websites such as http://www.alt.com/ and/or http://www.bondage.com/. I began to read articles on the subject of BDSM and Im still reading these articles 8 years later.

My debut as a Blogger

2009-07-31T19:00:00.000-07:00

It's 6:25pm on Friday and Im tongue-tied not knowing what to post.
Im new to this type of journaling though Ive jotted down my thoughts via an Ink pen within the confines of journal books [some very expensive] since May 17, 1998. Since 2-19-09 Ive been writing in the black Composition books that I used as a child, frankly because they are less expensive. Ive become very frugal since January 2006 perhaps I had an inkling of the Recession not yet upon us.
Once again Im late in starting dinner, so Im going to close and will resume blogging over the weekend!